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By Stormy Smoleny Ph.D.


IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF takes you on a compelling inner quest to find and reclaim the disowned self ¾ the abandoned, unaided part of us that must live outside our love because it’s too negative, too painful, or too threatening. IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF shows you how to execute a daring rescue of your unwanted self, allowing you to reinstate it to its rightful place in your psyche. Illustrating the restorative power of integrated negative emotion, this book challenges the notion that all negative emotion is undesirable and detrimental, revealing the psychological and spiritual benefits of identifying, understanding, and embracing all parts of the self.


Moving beyond traditional therapeutic technique, IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF helps you understand the constructive use of aggression. It shows you how to enlist the power of your negative side, using it to bring balance and peace back to your life.


A self-help book within a novel, IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF is a veritable storehouse of information. It both entertains and educates in a most delightful manner. IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF is a book to be savored. Thought provoking, readable, and beautifully written, it offers a new way of thinking about your negative side.



What do good people do with their negative feelings? Do they acknowledge them or disown them, focusing only on the positive? If the choice is for a positive focus, is this tantamount to denial? Does such a choice contribute to depression and anxiety? Is entertaining negativity synonymous with condoning it? Does negativity reside within or without the realm of spirituality?


Get the answers to all of these questions and much more!



IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF will help you learn:



  • About the powerful healing effect of correctly processed aggression.

  • How to responsibly process negative emotion.

  • How integrating negative emotion eliminates depression and anxiety.

  • How premature forgiveness can be a form of self-deception.

  • How premature positive thinking can be a form of self-deception.

  • About the unitive state, where good and bad coexist.

  • How static beliefs turn into idols to be worshipped.

  • How to work with the child within.

  • About the lies we tell our emotional self.

  • How to flow with life’s cycles.

  • The truth about the game of life.

  • The value of acknowledging the earthly limitations to our power.

  •  How to expand your spiritual awareness through an expanded knowledge of self. 

  • How the quest for purity can deter your spiritual development.



Despite Chris Sinclair’s best efforts to deal with her grief, a deathly shroud of depression advanced with impunity, gaining ground at an alarming rate. The man with whom she’d shared an intense soul connection for seven years had blown out the door in a lethal rage. He’d not explained, nor had he returned. Emotionally fragmented and deeply conflicted, Chris is left to question everything.
Answers not forthcoming, Chris finds herself lost in despair. Close to panic, she fears that if her answers don’t come soon her grief will overcome her and surely she’ll die of her own pain.
Chris flees to a remote Bahamian island searching for solace and, eventually, answers. There she meets Sari Slater, a retired psychoanalyst who shows her an unlikely path out of depression.
In a series of conversations that span a year, Sari helps Chris understand the remarkable healing power of constructively utilized aggression. This entails embracing your negative side rather than disowning it as well as replacing virtuous beliefs with present-moment experiencing.
A spiritual person intent on a positive focus, Chris struggles with the concept but comes to recognize the value of harnessing her shadow side. She also discovers the spiritual benefits of integrating her negativity as she moves beyond psychological splitting into wholeness.
Join Chris and Sari in their journey through light and darkness. Learn how acceptance, understanding, and compassion for all parts of the self can heal. See for yourself how relinquishing the quest for purity can lift you up and set you free.




Chapter 1:   Torn Remnants and Broken Shards

                     Dealing with Compulsory Loss


Chapter 2:   Beginning the Search

                     Altruism as Self-Deception


Chapter 3:   Plea for Deliverance

                      Finding the Inner Observer


Chapter 4:   Burial at Sea

                     Forgiveness as Self-Deception


Chapter 5:   Conch Graveyard

                     The Unwanted Self


Chapter 6:   Lies and Illusions

                      Unlimited Power and Impossible Expectations


Chapter 7:   Tide Clock

                      Flowing with Life’s Cycles


Chapter 8:   Shipwreck

                     Rescuing the Child Within


Chapter 9:   Starfish Beds

                      Transforming Negative Emotion


Chapter 10: First Fish

                      Moving Toward Independence


Chapter 11: The Limbo King

                      Getting Honest


Chapter 12: Egg Hunt

                      Allowing Rage to Move


Chapter 13: The Anklet

                       Letting Go


Chapter 14: Swamp Buggy

                      Taking a Chance


Chapter 15: Lobster Obsession

                      Having Fun


Chapter 16: Hawk’s Nest

                      A New Beginning


Chapter 17: The Shelby Lane Lure

                      Creatively Channeled Rage


Chapter 18: The Heiress

                      Getting Lost in History


Chapter 19: Crab Lane

                       Daring to Grieve


Chapter 20: The Unitive State

                      Integrating Good and Bad


Chapter 21: Hurricane

                      Accepting What Is


Chapter 22: Rebuilding

                      Finding Peace in the Present Moment


Chapter 23: The Church

                      Flying With or Without Him