IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF
By Stormy Smoleny Ph.D.
IN SEARCH OF THE
UNWANTED SELF takes you on a compelling inner quest to find and reclaim the
disowned self ¾
the abandoned, unaided part of us that must live outside our love because it’s
too negative, too painful, or too threatening. IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF
shows you how to execute a daring rescue of your unwanted self, allowing you to
reinstate it to its rightful place in your psyche. Illustrating the restorative
power of integrated negative emotion, this book challenges the notion that all
negative emotion is undesirable and detrimental, revealing the psychological and
spiritual benefits of identifying, understanding, and embracing all parts of the
traditional therapeutic technique, IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF helps you
understand the constructive use of aggression. It shows you how to enlist the
power of your negative side, using it to bring balance and peace back to your
A self-help book within
a novel, IN SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF is a veritable storehouse of
information. It both entertains and educates in a most delightful manner. IN
SEARCH OF THE UNWANTED SELF is a book to be savored. Thought provoking,
readable, and beautifully written, it offers a new way of thinking about your
What do good people do
with their negative feelings? Do they acknowledge them or disown them, focusing
only on the positive? If the choice is for a positive focus, is this tantamount
to denial? Does such a choice contribute to depression and anxiety? Is
entertaining negativity synonymous with condoning it? Does negativity reside
within or without the realm of spirituality?
Get the answers to all
of these questions and much more!
IN SEARCH OF THE
UNWANTED SELF will help you learn:
About the powerful healing
effect of correctly processed aggression.
How to responsibly process
How integrating negative
emotion eliminates depression and anxiety.
How premature forgiveness can
be a form of self-deception.
How premature positive
thinking can be a form of self-deception.
About the unitive state, where
good and bad coexist.
How static beliefs turn into
idols to be worshipped.
How to work with the child
About the lies we tell our
How to flow with life’s
The truth about the game of
The value of acknowledging the
earthly limitations to our power.
How to expand your spiritual
awareness through an expanded knowledge of self.
How the quest for purity can
deter your spiritual development.
Despite Chris Sinclair’s best efforts to deal with her grief, a deathly
shroud of depression advanced with impunity, gaining ground at an alarming rate.
The man with whom she’d shared an intense soul connection for seven years had
blown out the door in a lethal rage. He’d not explained, nor had he returned.
Emotionally fragmented and deeply conflicted, Chris is left to question
Answers not forthcoming, Chris finds herself lost in despair. Close to panic,
she fears that if her answers don’t come soon her grief will overcome her and
surely she’ll die of her own pain.
Chris flees to a remote Bahamian island searching for solace and, eventually,
answers. There she meets Sari Slater, a retired psychoanalyst who shows her an
unlikely path out of depression.
In a series of conversations that span a year, Sari helps Chris understand the
remarkable healing power of constructively utilized aggression. This entails
embracing your negative side rather than disowning it as well as replacing
virtuous beliefs with present-moment experiencing.
A spiritual person intent on a positive focus, Chris struggles with the concept
but comes to recognize the value of harnessing her shadow side. She also
discovers the spiritual benefits of integrating her negativity as she moves
beyond psychological splitting into wholeness.
Join Chris and Sari in their journey through light and darkness. Learn how
acceptance, understanding, and compassion for all parts of the self can heal.
See for yourself how relinquishing the quest for purity can lift you up and set
Chapter 1: Torn
Remnants and Broken Shards
Dealing with Compulsory Loss
Chapter 2: Beginning
Altruism as Self-Deception
Chapter 3: Plea for
Finding the Inner Observer
Chapter 4: Burial at
Forgiveness as Self-Deception
Chapter 5: Conch
The Unwanted Self
Chapter 6: Lies and
Unlimited Power and Impossible Expectations
Chapter 7: Tide Clock
Flowing with Life’s Cycles
Chapter 8: Shipwreck
Rescuing the Child Within
Chapter 9: Starfish
Transforming Negative Emotion
Chapter 10: First Fish
Moving Toward Independence
Chapter 11: The Limbo
Chapter 12: Egg Hunt
Allowing Rage to Move
Chapter 13: The Anklet
Chapter 14: Swamp Buggy
Taking a Chance
Chapter 15: Lobster
Chapter 16: Hawk’s Nest
Chapter 17: The Shelby
Chapter 18: The Heiress
Getting Lost in History
Chapter 19: Crab Lane
Daring to Grieve
Chapter 20: The Unitive
Integrating Good and Bad
Chapter 21: Hurricane
Accepting What Is
Chapter 22: Rebuilding
Finding Peace in the Present Moment
Chapter 23: The Church
Flying With or Without Him